by Heidi Grant

Raise your hand if you have an insurmountable pile of projects on your to-do list and an inbox so terrifying to behold that you can hardly bear to behold it.

Cue the sea of arms waving wildly.

You have too much to do. You can’t do it alone. You need people to help you. Why aren’t they helping you?!?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: If you aren’t getting the support you need with your crushing workload, odds are it’s kind of your fault.

Cue the sea of angry readers giving their screens the finger right now.

What I mean is, you probably aren’t asking for the support you actually need, and if you are, you probably aren’t asking for it in the right way. Loads of studies have found that people have an innate desire to be helpful, by and large. (This is one reason the “givers” among us tend to get overwhelmed.) But even though people are much more likely to lend us a hand than we assume, most of us can’t stand the idea of asking for help.